When exposed genetalia
really start to ail ya
Use a pants cannon
If from their shirt down to their toes
They're totally exposed
Use a pants cannon
It may be harsh that's true
But you're spoiling my view
With a range of fifty feet
It'll Cover up bad meat
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

Refrain
It may be charged with air
Or even TNT
But it's making the world better
For folks like you and me
It's a slacks delivery gun
Putting pantsless on the run
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

When you're seeing a free willy
From someone just dressed silly
Use a pants cannon
If he's dressed like Donald Duck
But doesn't give a fuck
Use a pants cannon
When cover up's the goal
Then call the pants patrol
They'll get there really fast
To cover the bare-assed
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

Refrain

When a shirted guy is loose
And you don't want sofas juiced
Use a pants cannon
If you're looking at a penis
Or somebody's mons venus
Use a pants cannon
If you cover up your tits
Cover other naughty bits
Please don't be a jerk
That fashion look don't work
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

Refrain

(Probably in G. Toying around with the arrangement. Viva Pants!)